Claroscuro

On a strictly mental-emotional level, they seem like failures and bring with them momentary pain. However, on a slightly more spiritual level, they actually bring happiness and the peace of the retrieved road.

 Somewhere in the middle of those relationships, we forget of ourselves, we forget who we are and what we want, then it is clear that the decline will come, IF we don’t find people willing and desirous to move on to a higher level where growth is the common goal.

I may say, this is exactly what united and welded me with my husband regardless of the emotional stages of each one. We wanted to grow up together, to look for solutions to individual and couple crises, we did not let go, no matter the challenge.

Oh, the challenges, dear ones, have the magic of a palm with a butcher’s glove in the middle of the night. However, they awaken us from the hypnotic state of stagnant relationships in the routine of nothingness.

Speaking of hypnosis, I used to live with the impression that it must be induced by a specialist, who, based on our desire, would be able to access our subconscious, for various therapeutic purposes. It amazed me a lot to find out that in fact, we mostly live in a state of a conscious hypnosis (one of the 4th existing ones) , called Alpha, when we watch TV, when we read, when we are somehow caught up in relaxation or routine. Well, do you realize how much mess we put into the subconscious during our daily routines, on an automatic pilot?

I suffered so much after 2 friends in particular.

The first one I lost in January, a stupid “challenge” was simply enough and we suddenly disconnected just like that. It is said that time solves everything, I do not agree, time just passes! What solves is healthy communication and the desire to stay connected, if only the desire is bilateral. Finally, although I felt a lot of love for her, simply atypical of me, I let distance and time flow without moving any intention in that direction. At first I felt lost, literally, about 2 months, I could not think or find myself. I, the man of action, the man of direct communication and without masks, remained in total passivity and acceptance: 0.

 Then, still slowly, everything became perfect as it had settled.

The second one I lost a few years ago, even now it is not clear if other people “helped” or simply, it was a match of difficult situations that I did not know how to manage. We just let go our hands and we had the courage to continue our journey separated. What is certain is that we have found each other for a year now and every time we meet it is as if we have never been absent. The deep connection has remained intact, that invisible but strong thread is there. How do I know? Because it feels, because I feel at home and we understand each other. Now I realize that we both needed individual growth space, with different rhythms, and then to enjoy the recovery but especially to know not to let go, no matter the situation.

One thing is sure, it is absolutely clear that all situations lead to personal growth, to an awareness of new things about oneself, to deeper analyzes with ourselves. All are there to discover what we want in our life, what kind of dynamics and relationships we want. All changes come in order to wake up us from that conscious hypnosis and become active even through deliberate passivity. All difficult situations make sense when you discover new facets and abilities that you never dreamed you had. Most of us imagine that “this is how we are” and condemn ourselves to a state of stagnation, until the challenges show us that in fact we are in a constantly changing, no one and nothing is final. And how good, how beautiful, to know that well-being adores decisions and vice versa.

I literally have the peace of mind that all the relationships in my life, some permanently closed, others in continuous transformation, lead me to my best version. So: Thanks to everyone who crossed my life!